silence

i see you sitting there.
you smile at me,
yet i hardly know you.
you try to say something,
yet you cannot speak.
i can talk,
yet i have nothing to say to you.

they say i'm like you,
yet i see no similarities.
you are surrounded by people who say they love you,
yet you pushed them away for your entire life.
maybe that is a similarity.
we both build walls against people-
rather than building bridges to let them in.

i see you sitting there.
you smile at me,
yet i hardly know you.
you try to say something,
yet you cannot speak.
i can talk,
yet i cannot find the words to say to you.

yet as i see you sit there,
i feel compelled to love you
to build a connection
there is so much i want to know about you
yet now, when you choose to allow us near
it is too late for us to hear.

i see you sitting there.
you smile at me,
yet i hardly know you.
you try to say something,
yet you cannot speak.
i can talk,
yet i cannot find my voice to speak to you.

you try to speak.
yet cannot.
not because there is no one to listen;
not because you have nothing to say;
not because you don't care
but rather because through out your life
as you pushed us away,
a tumor grew inside your head.
so today, as you sit there slowly dying,
it silences you when you most want to speak.
to speak to make up for the years of silence you gave us.

i see you sitting there.
you smile at me,
yet i hardly know you.
you try to say something,
yet you cannot speak.
i can talk,
yet i don't know what to say to you.

i see you sitting there
yet i know this image cannot last
your silence is slowly killing you
taking away someone i did not get to know

who knew silence could be so deadly?

**i wrote this about a year after my father's mother passed away. we weren't close- i barely knew her. sometimes families can have complex relationships, and this is one of them. despite not being overly close through out my life, i cannot deny the impact her death has made on my life, and the choices i make. you don't get second chances. remember that**