There will be days like this.

When it isn´t always raining there will be days like this
When theres no one complaining there will be days like this
When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch
Well my mama told me there will be days like this

When you do not need to worry there will be days like this
When no one has in a hurry there will be days like this
When you do not get betrayed by that old Judas kiss
Oh my mama told me there will be days like this

When you do not need an answer there will be days like this
When you do not meet a chancer there will be days like this
When all the parts of the puzzle start to look like they fit
Then I must remember there will be days like this

When everyone is up front & they are not playing tricks
When you do not have no freeloaders out to get their kicks
When it is nobody´s business the way that you want to live
I just have to remember there will be days like this

When no one steps on my dreams there will be days like this
When people understand what I mean there will be days like this
When you ring out the changes of how everything´s
Well my mama told me there will be days like this

Oh my mama told me
There will be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There will be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There will be days like this
Oh my mama told me
There will be days like this

complicated eyes

"she has complicated eyes"
they say.
"she is hard to read"
they say.
"her voice lacks a level of truth"
they say.
"there is no conviction in what she says"
they say.
"you'd think she'd just blend into the crowd"
they say.

and they might be right.
and they might be wrong.
and they might not exist at all.

she's one of those girls
who can smile on demand.
but leaves you wondering
if she really meant it.

she'll laugh at your jokes
without hesitation
if she feels that's what you need
at the moment.

she'll be patient and listen
to your same story
for the sixth time,
without ever mentioning,
she's dying inside.

she'll show up on time,
everytime,
if you ask her to meet you.
giving up whatever to please you.

she'll dance the night away
and pretend like its okay
when you leave her.

but if you look a little closer,
look behind complicated eyes,
you'll realize:

that while two and two will always make four

you'll never understand
what's happening behind

complicated eyes

because not everything is as simple
as it first may seem
and no one really knows
for sure
what hides behind
complicated eyes.

sometimes you just can't help what you feel....

i'm pretty involved with things at my school
for whatever reason i got tied into an organization
which eats up a lot of my time and energy
three of my 'staff' left this organization at the beginning of this year
leaving me with three times the work, most of which i didn't know how to do
its taken pretty much all year to get things quazi sorted out...
and i know, i know, i've probably taken on too much,
but i've been asking for help
not always receiving it, but i ask.
and it been challenging when people aren't willing to help when i need it,
but i've tried not to hold it against anyone.
i got myself into this role and the internship that came with it, so suck it up right?
and most days, i do. i took on what i did and that's life.
well, i didn't take on having to fulfill the extra roles when others walked away because it
"is too much"
but i've tried to shoulder it as much as i can
and have tried not to have things at this organization suffer
but there's still only one of me.
so it still hurts when someone makes snide comments about how long its taken "they"
to change things that i'm responsible for.
and i know they didn't mean to make me upset
but i still am
there's just one of me,
and to be honest,
i'm kind of drowning.
and i can only take being told 'no' to so many times when i've asked for help.
so i'm really looking forward to the end of january
because i'm stopping caring then
my contract might not be completely up,
but my signature doesn't guarantee i'm going to give a shit anymore.
because i'm the only me there is,
and i need to focus more on me,
and less on caring what other people think.

...a crazy combination of everything and nothing right...

as you may have noticed by now, my writing hasn't exactly been occurring on a regular basis. at least, not that i've been sharing anyway. i'm going through a little batch of writer's block, but i'm creating... just in a different way... i did this painting over my holidays, and just wanted to share. its acrylic on paper, nothing overly special, just something different than what i've posted in the past... i may be posting other pieces of my art in the future, as it is hard to say when i'll relearn my love of writing... anyways, thats all for now.


"Dreams" painted by Lesa.