sometimes you just can't help what you feel....

i'm pretty involved with things at my school
for whatever reason i got tied into an organization
which eats up a lot of my time and energy
three of my 'staff' left this organization at the beginning of this year
leaving me with three times the work, most of which i didn't know how to do
its taken pretty much all year to get things quazi sorted out...
and i know, i know, i've probably taken on too much,
but i've been asking for help
not always receiving it, but i ask.
and it been challenging when people aren't willing to help when i need it,
but i've tried not to hold it against anyone.
i got myself into this role and the internship that came with it, so suck it up right?
and most days, i do. i took on what i did and that's life.
well, i didn't take on having to fulfill the extra roles when others walked away because it
"is too much"
but i've tried to shoulder it as much as i can
and have tried not to have things at this organization suffer
but there's still only one of me.
so it still hurts when someone makes snide comments about how long its taken "they"
to change things that i'm responsible for.
and i know they didn't mean to make me upset
but i still am
there's just one of me,
and to be honest,
i'm kind of drowning.
and i can only take being told 'no' to so many times when i've asked for help.
so i'm really looking forward to the end of january
because i'm stopping caring then
my contract might not be completely up,
but my signature doesn't guarantee i'm going to give a shit anymore.
because i'm the only me there is,
and i need to focus more on me,
and less on caring what other people think.